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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/19/2014, 13:08

BrianC wrote:


This is a misunderstanding of terms, then. If we throw away (cast off) emotions, we're suppressing them out of our awareness. They're still there, but we don't know they're there.

Hi Brian,

There is a missing element here, which I have introduced three posts from the bottom on the previous page.

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/19/2014, 13:20

BrianC wrote:


Okay, this is a concept that's very difficult to understand. When we deem something as wrong or evil and we intend to get rid of it within ourselves, we've just bound it to ourselves. Take priests for instance--they have to take a vow of celibacy. When you talk to the psychologist whom those priests see, they say, "All those priests talk about is sex, sex, sex. They can't have it, so it eats them up inside. They've starved it for years, and so they're bound to it." Priests can be trained psychologists, so priests will go to other priests who are trained in psychology to talk about their issues. It's always about sex. lol I tried to get rid of my anger. I found that I'd just buried it. And it came up eventually so I could process it.

Hi Brian,

According to your example then: I should be fixated on anger, because it is really there
but merely suppressed, this of course isn't the case. It is gone, and so are the effects.

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/19/2014, 13:26

BrianC wrote:


That doesn't have anything to do with James 1:20, actually. (1)I'm saying that people suppress anger, and it ends up turning into other behaviors that might seem healthy, but aren't. (2)Religious people are probably the worst offenders. (3)They suppress all of their dysfunctional emotions and behaviors, but then those behaviors shift to other behaviors that are "religious" and very unhealthy for them and others. They don't know that, though, because the religious think these new behaviors are great. lol They approve! Oh, the deception we find in approval of the masses or small groups...

Hi Brian,

1) Really? ...do you have any examples of this?
2) Once again, do you have any examples?
3) Not sure what you're trying to say?

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/19/2014, 13:33

BrianC wrote:
Ed J wrote:
BrianC wrote:
EdJ,

To "get rid of" anger, first we have to not judge it.


Is this speculation on your part?


No, that's not speculation. I, and many others, have found this to be true in our own lives. I could not get rid of anger while I had judged it as wrong. I just kept suppressing it. And when I'd try to deal with it, it stayed. It wasn't until I stopped judging it as wrong that it finally would surface properly and integrate/resolve. You'll find a lot more people in the East understand this as opposed to people in the West due to our religions deeming anger as evil. We're full of judgments here in the West. And the dysfunctional people in the East are full of judgments too. Religion, no matter where a person lives, is full of judgments and opinions, and those things cause the suffering inside of us. It all comes from fear.
Hi Brian,

If you have not gotten rid of anger, then how do you know that's the way it's achieved?

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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BrianC

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/20/2014, 03:41

Ed,

I didn't get rid of anger. I let the anger resolve/integrate. Maybe it would be better to describe it as letting the anger's energy convert over into the larger pool of energy the heart pulls from to express its emotions. The anger goes away. Maybe another way to say it would be that the energy of the heart used to express the anger shifts into expressing healthy emotions inside. When anger had ahold of that energy, that energy was stuck. So the heart couldn't use that energy to do anything healthy. Until that energy became unstuck by integrating into the whole pool of energy, it was useless for anything productive. I'm not sure how to describe it.

Let's say your heart pumps blood in a healthy way so you have plenty of energy. But part of it gets hard. That part of the heart muscle won't pump anymore. So there's less blood supply and therefore less energy. If enough of the heart gets hardened, it won't hardly pump blood anymore. The person is essentially dead. That's what all of these unhealthy emotional signatures do. They get suppressed and harden the heart, essentially killing the person. The person then lives out of the ego, which is fear-driven.

Starving behaviors brings up the emotions covering them so those emotions can be resolved/integrated into the whole. In other words, figuratively speaking, the hard parts of the heart soften up, and the heart starts pumping blood again. Now, let's contrast that to casting off the actual parts of the heart by starving them. If I starve a part of my heart muscle--the hard part--my heart wouldn't work quite as well anymore. So I don't cast it off. I love it instead by accepting it unconditionally until it softens. Casting it off would be denying the reality of how I feel.

I have no clue if you've gotten rid of your anger or not. You'd have to decide that on your own. I just know that there's only one way to take care of anger that actually works to resolve it. Everything else suppresses it. The way I know the condition of my emotional body is by the way I feel emotionally and by my health.

If I'm feeling awful, that means I'm making progress, because I'm allowing emotions to come up and be. If I'm not reacting to them with behaviors, I'm making even more progress. As they resolve, I feel them resolve. And I see the evidence of that when certain things in life no longer trigger those emotions to come up. Now, this can be very tricky to perceive, because if we have suppressed stuff, we'll be numb to a lot of our feelings and we'll interpret that numbness as good and normal. So if we don't see dysfunctional emotions surfacing, we'll think everything's good and normal. That's why it's so tricky. Our hearts are very deceptive in their pain.

I have periods when I'm really hurting and I have other periods when there are no uncomfortable emotions surfacing. It comes and goes. What I notice is that I feel more joy as I process more emotions. And I don't get triggered as much. That's really important. If I'm not getting triggered by things that used to always trigger me, either I've suppressed something really deeply, or it's resolved/integrated. There's usually a lot more joy in those triggering situations if integration has occurred. Not much happens inside if a person suppressed the emotion instead, and they stay more numb than anything.

For instance, when my son used to trigger my anger constantly, I let the anger be there, but I starved cruel or controlling behavior. As I starved the cruel or controlling behavior that was caused by the anger, the anger would come up more. But I'd let it be, accepting it as it was. Finally, it resolved. I felt it resolve. It brought me great joy and peace and laughter and happy tears. It doesn't always happen like that, but it often does. And now, my son doesn't trigger that anger in me anymore. That anger has been resolved and I feel joy and peace more readily when I'm around my son. There's a deeper-buried anger that is still there that I haven't resolved. It takes a lot for him to trigger that. So, as I withhold controlling and cruel behavior when I feel that, the emotions surface. Also, though, I have to stop this message forum posting, because it's also suppressing those emotions from coming up. Once I stop the suppressive behaviors, the emotions will fully surface and I can let them integrate. Then, my son won't trigger that anger anymore, because that anger won't be there to trigger.

And all of that anger is being triggered by him because the anger relates back to my childhood. He's a kid, so he's triggering it. He's MY kid, so he's triggering it in me. I controlled myself very well as a child in order to stay safe. So I attempt to control him or teach him how to control himself to keep him safe. I get triggered if he won't do what I say, and that's because subconsciously, I'm trying to keep him safe. It's a weird sort of cycle, but that's a glimpse of how it works. If I had had unconditional love and trusted God naturally through that love, then I would not have needed to try to "control" myself because I wouldn't have feared. Control, 99% of the time, is a result of fear.

So, as I unconditionally love myself, that fear and the anger that's attempting to control that fear in me ends up integrating. Then, I don't fear anymore and there's no fear or anger there to get triggered. There's always fear below anger, so the fear is what actually needs to come through and be felt eventually so that the anger will resolve. Fear is anger's root.

Again, this must be experienced. It cannot really be explained. It can, but explanation is mainly for the mental body (mind). It has just a little effect on the heart, but the heart needs to experience things firsthand to heal. This process is not about feeling better--it's about getting better at feeling. Yes, a person eventually will feel a ton better, but the person has to go through all kinds of painful emotions before they get there. It's not easy, but it's worth it. So worth it.

Alright, I think I'm done posting. Thanks for the invite. Hope all goes well. If you want more information on how this stuff works or you want to do it yourself, just get a copy of The Presence Process (Second/Revised Edition) by Michael Brown. It will explain way more than I have, and it will walk you through the process week by week. Makes it really easy and simple. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to get closer to God and rid themselves of sinful/dysfunctional behaviors. I know no better method.
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 07:51

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

I didn't get rid of anger. I let the anger resolve/integrate. Maybe it would be better to describe it as letting the anger's energy convert over into the larger pool of energy the heart pulls from to express its emotions. The anger goes away. Maybe another way to say it would be that the energy of the heart used to express the anger shifts into expressing healthy emotions inside. When anger had ahold of that energy, that energy was stuck. So the heart couldn't use that energy to do anything healthy. Until that energy became unstuck by integrating into the whole pool of energy, it was useless for anything productive. I'm not sure how to describe it.

Hi Brian,

So - you basically sit on your hands and wait for the anger to subside.
I don't see how that accomplishes anything, anything other than
keeping from acting out works of unrighteousness. I'm still
waiting for you to tell me what the benefit of anger is?

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:00

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

(1)I have no clue if you've gotten rid of your anger or not. (2)You'd have to decide that on your own. (3)I just know that there's only one way to take care of anger that actually works to resolve it. (4)Everything else suppresses it. (5)The way I know the condition of my emotional body is by the way I feel emotionally and by my health.

Hi Brian,

1) Well, I have.
2) I thought you deeded to decide it.
3) Correct, all one knows is all one knows. That's why I'm telling you more than you currently 'know'.
4) Sounds like more speculation.
5) See point #3.

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:03

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

If I'm feeling awful, that means I'm making progress, because I'm allowing emotions to come up and be. If I'm not reacting to them with behaviors, I'm making even more progress. As they resolve, I feel them resolve. And I see the evidence of that when certain things in life no longer trigger those emotions to come up. Now, this can be very tricky to perceive, because if we have suppressed stuff, we'll be numb to a lot of our feelings and we'll interpret that numbness as good and normal. So if we don't see dysfunctional emotions surfacing, we'll think everything's good and normal. That's why it's so tricky. Our hearts are very deceptive in their pain.

Hi Brian,

Would you be making 'progress' not to cry when you are sad as well?

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:12

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

I have periods when I'm really hurting and I have other periods when there are no uncomfortable emotions surfacing. It comes and goes. What I notice is that I feel more joy as I process more emotions. And I don't get triggered as much. That's really important. If I'm not getting triggered by things that used to always trigger me, either I've suppressed something really deeply, or it's resolved/integrated. There's usually a lot more joy in those triggering situations if integration has occurred. Not much happens inside if a person suppressed the emotion instead, and they stay more numb than anything.

Hi Brian,

My brother has told me in times past: 'I was pushing his buttons'.
That is blaming me for *his* Dysfunctional Emotion, is it not?
That is just like saying it is your fault I'm sad, is it not?

I have no control of his emotions any more than he has control of mine.

____________
God bless
Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:28

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

For instance, when (1)my son used to trigger my anger constantly, I let the anger be there, but I starved cruel or controlling behavior. As I starved the cruel or controlling behavior that was caused by the anger, the anger would come up more. But I'd let it be, accepting it as it was. Finally, it resolved. I felt it resolve. It brought me great joy and peace and laughter and happy tears. It doesn't always happen like that, but it often does. (2)And now, my son doesn't trigger that anger in me anymore. That anger has been resolved and I feel joy and peace more readily when I'm around my son. There's a deeper-buried anger that is still there that I haven't resolved. (3)It takes a lot for him to trigger that. So, as I withhold controlling and cruel behavior when I feel that, the emotions surface. Also, though, I have to stop this message forum posting, because it's also suppressing those emotions from coming up. Once I stop the suppressive behaviors, the emotions will fully surface and I can let them integrate. Then, my son won't trigger that anger anymore, because that anger won't be there to trigger.

Hi Brian,

1) Sounds like you were blaming your son for *your* Dysfunctional Emotion.
2) Proving that IT WAS NOT your son causing *your* Dysfunctional Emotion!
3) We have just proved that statement is a lie. But you are welcome to believe *your* Dysfunctional Emotion is the fault of your son.
4) Anger is caused by unfulfilled expectations; and is in NO WAY connected to ANY behavior of another. Please consider my words.

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:31

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

I get triggered if he won't do what I say
Hi Brian,

As "I" said anger is based on unfulfilled expectations.

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:33

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

Control, 99% of the time, is a result of fear.

Hi Brian,

I disagree with your conclusion here.

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:39

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

Fear is anger's root.

Hi Brian,

There is nothing wrong with fear - fear can be a benefit while anger cannot.
Do you want me to give you some examples of how fear can be a benefit? Also,
I'm still waiting for you to give me some examples of how anger can be a benefit.

____________
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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 08:44

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

Alright, I think I'm done posting. Thanks for the invite. Hope all goes well. If you want more information on how this stuff works or you want to do it yourself, just get a copy of The Presence Process (Second/Revised Edition) by Michael Brown. It will explain way more than I have, and it will walk you through the process week by week. Makes it really easy and simple. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to get closer to God and rid themselves of sinful/dysfunctional behaviors. I know no better method.
Hi Brian,

There's a lot more to discuss than Dysfunctional Emotions,
please try not to be hung up on them to the exclusion of all else.

____________
God bless
Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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Ed J

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PostSubject: Re: Overcoming Dysfunctional Emotions & Sin   10/22/2014, 09:05

BrianC wrote:
Ed,

Alright, I think I'm done posting. Thanks for the invite. Hope all goes well. If you want more information on how this stuff works or you want to do it yourself, just get a copy of The Presence Process (Second/Revised Edition) by Michael Brown. It will explain way more than I have, and it will walk you through the process week by week. Makes it really easy and simple. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to get closer to God and rid themselves of sinful/dysfunctional behaviors. I know no better method.
Hi Brian,

That's why I asked you if you would be interested in what I had to say.
Because most people seem more interested in telling others what they believe.

And it would seem: now that I'm starting to tell you what I think, you are not interested - though you said you were.

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Ed J (Joshua 22:34)
http://www.holycitybiblecode.org
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